Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Signs of an Unfaithful Wife - How to know if your Wife has Cheated

Cheating may in fact be one of those things better relegated to the phrase "... different strokes for different people" because for some, cheating is a deal breaker, but for some others, it is just one more thing to "roll with". Regardless, any man worth his salt is at least a teensy bit possessive and not overly eager to share his wife with every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
There are a whole lot of clues a woman will drop like bread crumbs when she starts stepping out on you and it is really up to you to be observant in order to pick up on them because let's face it, rarely will she walk up to you and bluntly tell you that she is cheating unless of course she despises you more than you will ever know. Some of those bread crumbs include:

1. She talks less.
Every woman is at some level, a chatter-box. It's just the way we are wired. Even the most quiet of women, will generally tell the man she loves every thing about her day from how she dissed that pompous co-worker to how she was cut off in traffic by one rude driver to how she chipped her nail while making dinner. A woman in love involves you so graphically in her day that you can actually picture it without being there. So fellas, when she suddenly stops talking about her day, you need to be worried because chances are, she has found someone else, perhaps more willing to listen than you are. Note: if you have always been in the habit of rebuffing her when whenever she tries to talk to you, her newfound reticence may be a direct result of your constant snubs. But even where this is the case, you should be worried because even if she is not cheating already, she is fast falling out of love.

2. You become "Dear John"
What I mean is, if there is a particular guy you suspect she may be cheating with, observe how she treats you around him. If she treats you like a good ol'buddy around him, you may want to keep a closer eye on that relationship. If she is emotionally entangled with him, then when in the company of both of you, she will instinctively try to treat you both equally rather than show 'favoritism'.

3. Kissing
The rule of the Kiss Test is general to men and women so if she is cheating on you, her kissing technique will change, subconsciously picking up that of the other man. But please do not inject paranoia into this as she may merely not want to ruin her lipstick or something.

4. Change in apparels
By this, I do not necessarily mean clothes, but lingerie. If your wife has been prone to comfortable, good-girl cotton underwear for your 10 years of marriage and all of a sudden she is investing in eye-popping lacy scraps then you should be worried unless of course you have been harping on that and urging her to go lacy. On the reverse, she could suddenly decide to start wearing sexy lacy undies if she thinks you are cheating because she is subconsciously trying to compete with the other woman to win you back!!! Either way, you need to talk to her because you can't win this one: If she is cheating, you are losing her; and if she is not cheating but thinks you are cheating, you should probably fear for your life because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

5. Lying
I never met a cheat who wanted to be caught so lying is invariably a sign that she has something to hide or that she has done something she is not very proud of. When a lady lies, she may pat her hair, look away, give a small smug sneer when she thinks you aren't looking,etc. However these are not necessarily fool proof signs. For a better ability to detect when she is lying to you, please see my artcle below: Can You Really Tell When She Is Lying to Your Face?

6. Anger
90% of women will not cheat unless they have transferred their affections to another man. So if your woman is cheating on you, she will invariably start seeing you as the other man. In her eyes, you are forcing her to be unfaithful to the man she loves i.e. her lover. Also, believe it or not, she may blame you for her affair and this will likely show itself in unexplained surges of anger. So if she suddenly starts detesting your touch, avoiding physical contacts in conversation, etc, you may want to sit up. In the reverse, when she is suddenly indifferent about your failure to say, pick her up for lunch or doesn't get angry because you did not remember your wedding anniversary, you may be glad to have escaped a major row but trust me, you have a big problem.

7. She never nags. Ever
To most men, the ideal woman is one who never nags and because of that, most women go out of their way to avoid nagging at all times.In truth however, every woman will nag once in a while because it's innate. It may be little things like trying to tell you how to drive, or how to knot your tie, or how to file your nails, but when your wife totally leaves you to your own devices all of a sudden, and doesn't turn a hair when you dash out on your way to work with an orange shirt and a green trouser, chances are, she has found someone else to 'mother'.

8. Overattentiveness vs Indifference
Ordinarily, a cheating wife may become indifferent but in reality, most women who cheat feel guilty and because of that, she may try to compensate by being even more attentive to you. Do not be the clueless, naive husband; be alert!!! If she becomes overly attentive, you need to ask what she is trying to make up for.

9. New Hobbies.
Studies have shown that in a relationship, women are more likely to try new things to please the men in their lives than vice versa. If your previously sports-allergic wife suddenly takes up shooting hoops on Saturdays, then there may be a new man in her life. Of course, this is not an absolute sign of cheating as the woman may simply be trying to take up a new lifestyle for absolutely healthy reasons like fitness. If you are not sure, simply ask when she least expects it and watch her reaction.

10. New friends.
If she is cheating on you, chances are she will start avoiding her old friends because she may not want them to discover her shameful secret. As a general rule, female friends are less tolerant of cheating than male friends so while a man who is straying may be cheered on by his friends, a woman who is cheating may be condemned by her friends.(Yes it reeks of double standards but that is just the way it is).

11. Unaccountable hours
I mentioned this last because it is so well known that it is almost like the litmus test of cheating. (Indeed in my article on Signs of An Unfaithful Husband I chose not to mention it at all.) If your wife is cheating, you may be sure that there will be a lot of inexplicable absences and delays and some incredible stories to explain away the absences or just plain silence.

There are several other signs that a woman is no longer 100% committed to you, but please note that the above-listed are not fool proof because there is always an exception to every rule! Some may display these signs and not be cheating, but others may not display any of these but may in fact be cheating. It's really up to you to be observant and pay attention to her once in a while - Yes despite how interesting that Sunday Paper is!!!


  1. This is rich, I just learnt some new clues. Infact I had to share on my Facebook wall. Keep it up

  2. I'm very glad to hear that the post was helpful. We aim to please.

  3. My fiancee has been showing a lot of these signs lately. Infact I was so confused that i went online and stumbled across your blog. Great article by the way and kudos on the accuracy. But what do you think I should do now that I know she is cheating? Ps: she admitted it after i pressed her you know. What do you think I should do?

  4. Hi. I do not know the peculiar circumstances of your case, and as such, if i were to give you a general advice it would be more injurious to you than helpful. But here's what i would suggest you need some space to think and lay out your options because in the end it boils down to two things: Can you live without her? And if the answer is 'no' can you get past what she did? If you really cannot forgive her then the best you can do for each other is end the relationship immediately. But if you feel your love is strong enough to weather this storm and you are certain, then give yourself time to forget this and give her time to earn your trust again. I hope it all works out for you. Goodluck.

  5. Real nice.Accurate too!

  6. Sherina I love your style of writing. I just came here from the link you put up on facebook. Keep it up. But your work does seem to focus on women. What about men?

  7. Thanks Estee.
    @Gbenga: Hi. I also wrote an article on signs of an unfaithful husband. Please see scroll down. :)