THE SIX DON'Ts OF FASHION TODAY

THE SIX DON’Ts OF FASHION TODAY

                                                        By

Okoye Sherina Oluchi

·           STILETTOS

Before you start screaming for my blood, I love stilettos as much as the next girl, but when said stilettos are as high as a toddler... alright that is an exaggeration, but you get my drift.

Stilettos coordinate your walk and give any girl sexy steps but hey, why would you want to climb an actual ladder (in the form of heels) and clutch the arm of every person like an old woman?

Seriously! Not only does it make you seem trivial and silly, you also come across as some attention-seeking notice-me-or-I-die type of person. Like that? I didn’t think so.

·           MAKEUP

Hmm yes, touchy. Some of us need makeup the way birds need wings but hey, the first rule of thumb concerning make-up and indeed everything else in life is: less is more. The more natural your makeup seems on you, the more natural and eye-friendly your beauty will be. Besides, burying your skin under thick layers of chemicals can’t be good for those pores can they? Your friends may not say this to your face, but they do laugh at your excess make-up behind your back. Unless of course theirs is even thicker than yours¾ a scary thought.

·           SPAGS/SLEEVELESS TOPS

Spaghetti-strap tops are a personal favourite of mine, what with the insanely hot weather. Most people simply put on these simple apparels with a pair of jeans and they are good to go. But sisters if you are not sure how steady the weather is going to be ¾ and we do know it almost never is¾ please do grab a jacket as well, or a shawl. Since oversized bags have never really gone out of style, you will have a place to stuff them in. Remember, as much as it pains me to admit this, Nigerian guys are not big on chivalry. Imagine your mortification when your date hoards his jacket to himself blithely ignoring the fact that you are half-freezing with audibly chattering teeth, right beside him. Or worse, he hands you his jacket and his own teeth start to chatter audibly.

·         PERFUMES

In my secondary school days we had a section of lavatories called “oozing block”. You could smell them from a mile away! How does this relate to perfumes? These babies are excellent confidence boosters for some, for others it sends a message. That is all good and well. But remember, some perfumes do have pungent odours, and in your bid to smell great you may come off smelling like what the cat ate and threw up! So before you pick a new, not tested nor trusted perfume or body spray, do ask a friend to analyze the smell for you. More expensive does not always mean better.

Ps: a member of the opposite sex, is always a better bet ¾ and I mean that for both sexes.

·           SPECTACLES

      The importance thereof, can never be over-emphasized. Apart from making you look mysterious and intriguing, they also¾if you choose the right ones¾ keep out UV rays thus protecting you from cataract and some other sight-stealing diseases that are courtesy of UV rays. But do all these stated reasons justify buying specs that do not fit your face and end up making you look... well, like a victim of fashion?    

·           JEANS

    I can almost hear your “you have got to be kidding me”. Well chill out. Jeans are practically a girl’s best friend ¾ in Nigeria anyway. However, it is pathetic, pitiful, and downright disgusting when these ‘best friends’ of ours are forced to play the role of pornographic bill-boards. Oh come now, don’t be coy. You are intelligent enough to take my meaning. Why do girls and boys of today wear jeans hanging almost to their knees not minding all that private flesh coupled with bulging stretch marks hanging out like flags from a window?

Jeans, especially the trousers are great fashion. You can dress them up or down. But it is exceedingly tacky to deliberately don ill-fitting jeans and expose your butt to non-admiring eyes. See that guy checking out your naked butt whilst driving past? If he is worth his salt, that light in his eyes does not signify appreciation but censure, disgust and pity!

So the next time you reach for that vulgarly-cut low-waist jeans, think about whom you really want to attract¾ a lascivious, slobbering bull-dog, or a sleek, well-bred, decent panther.

Toodles.