THE
PERFECT MAN: HOW TO BE THE MAN EVERY WOMAN WANTS!!!
Ok so I seem to have been out of commission for a
while there. I apologize deeply. And don’t ask what I have been doing because
all you will get in response is a pert command to ‘mind your own business’. J
Now, onto pressing matters: Are there really
particular breed of men any woman would be ‘insane’ to say no to?
Contrary to public opinion, while money may make
the world go round, it does not always make a man any more appealing than he
truly is. Here are a few tips, based on home-spun truths, to get every woman
within a 2000 mile radius positively salivating and chasing after you!!! Yes,
fellas, that unfulfilled high school dream was always within your grasp but you
just didn't see it because you were busy looking in the wrong direction!
And no, I am in no way suggesting that you have to
have ALL of these traits, indeed if you do appear to have more than 4, even I
wouldn't trust you!
WARNING: Any man who has four or five of
these, will most likely be forced to run for his life from the hordes of women
who will
chase after him and I refuse to be liable for that of course.
- Gentle
with weaker beings:
In some cultures, I am told
wife/girl-friend battering is considered the norm, and even accepted/expected
to ‘prove that you are the head of the house’; ‘let her know her place’; ‘show
that you are a man’; and some other such drivel. Well if you have been
unfortunate to have been so brain-washed, then let me set you straight:
pounding on a hapless woman, child or little puppy will NOT earn you respect.
It may earn you fear, a lot of disdain and buckets of dislike!!! You may think
it does not matter, but wait until you have say, a heart attack and the only
people available to run for help are that woman you abused or that child you
mistreated or that dog you kicked ¾ trust me, your perspective will change in a hurry.
Any woman with an ounce of
oestrogen, can hardly resist a man who is gentle, sensous and considerate. If you think I’m off my
cookies then ask the nearest woman you can find how she feels when a man who
looks like he can probably eat rocks for breakfast holds her as gently as if
she were made of fine porcelian. Yes, even when a woman is 7 feet tall and as
muscular ar say, Johnny Bravo, she still finds it absolutely sexy when a man
makes her feel feminine every now and then.
- A Confidant:
No woman can resist a man who
listens because listening is actually a very hard art for men to adopt. And
when they do listen, they often seem to not
be listening because they are usually focused on some football match or document
or newspaper or such other thing. I know a woman who ended her relationship
with this guy she absolutely adored because everytime she tried to talk to him,
he “was focused on a bunch of sweaty guys running after a football on TV”.
Yes when I heard that one, I had
to smile too. However, the crux of the matter is: if you absolutely want that
woman to light up like a Christmas tree every single time you walk into a room,
you might try listening a little more often and actually appear to be listening!
And a note of caution: sometimes,
she may be bitching about something or someone to you but that does not
necessarily mean she wants you to charge in and proffer solutions. What I mean
is, do you remember a few times when she was positively lamenting about say her
grumpy boss and when you magnanimously offered to tell that boss to let up on
her, she almost bit off your head? Well sometimes, women tell you their
problems because they just want the comfort of knowing that you are listening and
you understand what they are going through but because men are naturally
analytical, you may start immediately considering solutions to those problems!
A word of advise to the wise: when next she starts going off on a wild tangent,
you might want to try just holding her close in your arms, listen until your
ears are pleading for mercy, then quietly ask what she wants to do. If she says
she does not know, then you may gently offer your solution.
- Considerate and romantic:
Being considerate does not
necessarily imply that you have to become a massuer, but when the woes of life
get a woman down ¾ and they will, every now and then ¾ she will hardly ever forget that in your own small
way, you tried to lighten the burden. Indeed, in today’s world, the rare man
who exhibits even a trace of chivalry like holding doors for a lady or offering
her his arm when she is trying to navigate a flight of stairs in impossibly
high-heels will have no competition because any woman at all will be charmed.
(But not if she senses that you are only doing that to impress and not because
you sincerely want to). Also, romance is
underrated. People think it does not matter but in truth, there is no faster
way to make her fall. Turn on the charm and give her an overdose. Trust me, she
does not stand a chance.
So it may be something as simple
as offering to do the dishes because she looks wrung out from a uniquely hard day
at work; it may be something as simple as doing the sheets or heck, just giving
her a peck and ordering her to ‘put her feet up’ while you whip up something
for dinner (even if all you can manage is good ol’cereal) but either way, she
never forgets. And more importantly, your macho image will still be intact ¾ I promise. J
- Intelligent:
Now even if a woman is willing to be with a man who has
the brain of say, a jellyfish, then you may be sure that some day, some guy who
knows what he is about will come along and sweep her away.
- Giving:
I know for a fact that when she mentions
that she couldn’t get her favorite shampoo (which probably costs all of a mere
dollar) because the queue at the mall was too long, she would be more likely to
squeal in surprised delight when you come home bearing that bottle of shampoo
like the warrior you are than she would when you go get say, a bottle of 1984
Chateau or a box of Godiva chocolates. As incredible as it sounds, she
appreciates the expensive bottle of wine of course and the chocolates (all
those calories... sigh), but when you go after something she mentioned in
passing like shampoo or even toothpaste, it may cost you 50 cents but she
realizes you were listening even when she thought she was talking to herself!
Also, it tells her that you are thinking of her a lot, and that you genuinely
care about her rather than trying to impress her with some showy present that
only cost you money and may well have been picked out by your secretary!
Believe me, you would be in for a hot
treat that night, the type you could brag about to your friends for years ¾ and get your minds out of the
gutter, I meant a gourmet treat! J
6. The “marrying kind” of man:
When you treat women terribly,
other women take note. Now they may not say anything but in the end, you will
be shocked at how almost no one is attracted to you anymore, and even if they
are, they fight it with all their strength, as well they should!!!
